The Hasslers

In a land where it is thought to be better to let twelve guilty men go free than to hang one innocent man, the victims of the twelve guilty men pay for everything. But if you're one of those crooks, don't get feeling too good about being back on the streets. Maybe you're in for a hassle. (A street corner. A suspicious looking man purchases a newspaper from a vending machine when he is confronted by a gang in white t-shirts.) Gang Leader: What do you think you're doing? Man: Buying a newspaper. Gang Leader: Oh, buying a newspaper! Did you hear that? He's buying a newspaper! Gang: (in supportive mockery) Buying a newspaper, buying a newspaper... Man: Yeah. Gang Leader: And why do you need that? Did you do something to get in the news? Gang Member: I'm surprised he knows how to read. Man: I wanted to catch the football scores. Gang leader: Football scores! Did you hear that? He wanted to catch the football scores. Gang: (Poking the man in the chest) Football scores, football scores... Man: Ow! Hey what is this? Who are you guys? Gang Leader: Maybe we're the guys who don't like to see dirty tax evaders out on the street buying newspapers. Man: How did you know that? Are you with the IRS? Gang Leader: Enough talk! Time for a nice game of dodgeball - with you as the ball! (They surround the man and start shoving him back and forth between them.) Man: Stop! You're making me dizzy! Stop, I say! (His protests are met with derisive laughter.) Justice makes a comeback with the righteous vigilantism of the Hasslers.
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Apparent Failure

Why are all those goldbricks on TV allowed to preach the work ethic? Is it so they look like they're honest? Yeah, that's all that matters in this lying shithole: BULLSHIT APPEARANCES! I just added another instance of George Carlin's plagiarism to my long list of his offenses against my work and image. I have no problem finding the post from last December because while my mother died on her hospital bed on December 7, 2015, I was stuck here, up to my neck in his fucking violations. My father just died a couple months ago. He used to tell me: you have to work hard for everything you get here. Oh, just work hard, right? And it will all come together for me, right? Well, back between 1999 and 2007, I seem to recall posting blogs complaining about how exhausted I was from pouring so many hours into my posts. Did they steal those too? Did they steal them so they would look like they worked hard to create my work? My dad's advice worked for him, but he wasn't as surrounded by hateful, lying, broadcasting creeps in his job at the Post Office. But I'm sure a lot of you would prefer to aim higher than an ordinary job. In that case, hard work is only a very small part of the equation. If you want to be successful in what I'm doing, you have to work hard and have witnesses that you did the work. Otherwise, lying shits steal your work and give it all to gold bricks on TV to fuck you in the ass for the next twenty-five years. So here's my advice. Work hard and don't expect any rewards for your hard work. And have witnesses that know you did the work. And then, maybe with a good lawyer - if you can afford one - you just might get something for it after everyone else in the world has already cashed it in for themselves to turn your life to shit. And be prepared to do it all twice from scratch if necessary. Why do people get jealous? That's is such a stupid state. Everyone suffers here. There's no reason for any jealousy. The Queen spoke of her annus horribilus in her Christmas message, didn't she? She's the most powerful monarch on earth and she was quite unhappy. Jealousy is just unnecessary stress. If you're going to get upset, get upset about something noble, like injustice. Injustice is a real problem in a land where they let lying goldbricks on TV preach the work ethic and where it is thought that it is better to let twelve guilty men go free than to hang one innocent man. What about the victims of the twelve guilty men who go free? Is it right to let the culprits out to stampede all over them in the street? Maybe it's better to err on the side of caution than on the side of grotesque injustice. I think the bullshit appearances of our society, as conveyed by all the shiny blinking gadgets, is meant to impress children. It is meant to trick them into thinking they live in a wonderful land. But all the gadgets on earth don't make you happy when you have no justice in your life. They'll have to grow up to find out the hard way. In the meantime, I'm sure they're impressed by all the whooshing animated graphics of news programs like FOX News, which fill their little heads with poisonous hate from the earliest possible age. I would find them distracting, myself. If I want animated graphics, I'll play a fucking video game. I watch news for information, not special effects. I'll follow this with a new comedy script idea that might have been previously shared.
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Happy Thanksgiving 2016 Addendum

How can you not love this face? Did everyone at Blogger catch my video post on YouTube yesterday? Here it is embedded in my blog post today so I can add more to it. I've decided to take a little break from my drawings because they demand too much effort from me. I thought I heard someone say I'm power tripping today. I'm just trying to get my money. I want my money. All the millions of dollars of royalties and author's fees that were made from my thousands of posts belongs in my pocket. And that actually does make me important. The workers in this business are as dumb as the new, post Vietnam War media. For instance, when I moved into my current address in 2012, it was occupied by a few corrupt production workers who tried to get me beat up. They invited a big bruiser to come to my home and knock on my door. But he couldn't even make it halfway up the stairs. I heard him say to the other eager assailants that he couldn't hurt me because I'm a star. That's incorrect. He couldn't hurt me because I'm worth a huge pile of money. There's obviously some science fiction type of technology at work to protect me from physical harm. I have had a lot of experience with this protection and consider myself an expert on it. The power that protects me doesn't give a shit about talent, it only cares about money. As I said, the media doesn't know how to do their jobs. They are supposed to help me get rich with my work. And they offend their own superiors when they try to pass me off as someone who is too old to be successful. Their superiors don't want popular talent to be discouraged in any way, including for reasons of advancing age. They want the money that would be generated by that talent. Let me put it to you like this. Say it's the 22nd century and I've been dead for seventy five years. A phenomenal new talent rises up on the internet who is capable of writing billion dollar songs. But he's a bit of a loner and receives the same treatment from the business that I did. He shares one hit and they utterly destroy him with it. In his brain are the recipes for hundreds of more of the same type of commercial music. Suppose by then that I was successful with my work. He could turn to my blogs and follow my example all the way to his own success. He could have far more confidence in his copyright protection than I had with mine, merely by reading my blogs and knowing my experience. But suppose I fail. Then perhaps this great new talent from the future would simply hang himself in his room and take his billions of dollars of musical masterpieces with him. So that's how opposing me could cost money all the way into the distant future. The media's superiors want artists to have hope. All the dumb reporters want is to stay in a position of superiority over everyone in the population, including artists. Their real problem with my work was that it made me important - more important than them. The powers that be have created this situation by staffing broadcasting corporations with not so bright reporters to avoid another Walter Cronkite situation at the hands of a reporter who is capable of thinking for himself. These reporters today are only capable of reading their cue cards. They're not even reporters, they're just actors. I don't have my money yet and I will continue to put pressure on the stars and broadcasters for their offenses against my copyright until I have my money. And I wasn't bluffing about people losing their jobs and going to prison. It's already happened on a large scale over my work since 2013 and shame on the media for covering it up. [4:00pm:] I've drifted back to the public library for some reason while stretching my legs. My legs feel pretty cramped after being cooped up in my room to rewrite all those verses and redraw all those illustrations. I guess I could shore up this post a little more against the inevitable attacks it will suffer from the fiends who owe me money and their dependents. Is anyone saying I'm greedy to want my money? I can't seem to get any respect without it. Maybe I just want respect. Was it untenable for me to go from calling the reporters stupid to implying that they were arrogant? Arrogant people are stupid. They think they know it all and it is the biggest intellectual mistake one can make. As Socrates said, one may not gain any knowledge unless one first admits that he knows nothing. As for media arrogance, how can CBC's David Frum call me a paperboy from Renfrew if I'm a rich and powerful international rock star and poet? You regular people out there who have absolutely nothing against me should sense the criminal motive for bashing my work. You should answer their comments with something like, 'Who are you? Taylor Swift?'
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Harmless Victim

Yesterday, I was greeted with the words 'someone should do you harm' as I entered the public library to type my post. It came from a woman with a gravelly voice who apparently wants me to look like I did something wrong. I have been putting up with this ridiculous posturing for nine years from each member of the big clique of liars and cheats who've had such a party with my web posts and now refuse to publicly admit their guilt. They want me to suffer the shame for their crimes now. And of course, I refuse to let them do this to me. Why should I be harmed? Wasn't I already enormously harmed by the thousands of violations of my copyright at the hands of a brutal broadcasting business? It's nine years later and I'm still reproducing old work that was stolen out of my account and used to mar my image. Think of all the insults I've wrongly suffered from people who liked my humour and who liked my music. (I haven't turned my back on you music fans, by the way. I'll have good new songs for you if I can ever get fair treatment from this crooked business.) Or does she mean physical harm? Does she think that I should suffer physical harm? How about the sore inside of my ear canal from having to stuff my ears so much to escape these galling remarks from strangers? Does that not count? Does she think someone should beat me up? If I were lying, I would be beaten up. Is that's what's behind it? Does she want everyone to think I'm lying by getting up with a microphone and telling me someone should do me harm? Some websites are bad for helping to organize hate groups, but I just know that there are some new love groups out there to counter them. When these hate groups go around bashing innocent artists with hateful lies, the love groups come in behind them and mix their comments with love and make them all taste good. It's one of the more positive new trends.
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The Elephant Is Not Forgotten

I made a horrible mistake today. I was cutting corners on my battlements in my poetry illustration and I got blood on my obelisk. And you know what they say, once you get blood on your obelisk, it never comes out. And it's true. You can dab and dab with the powder ball tool in Photoshop and that spot just won't come out. How will I ever forgive myself? Perhaps on the grounds that it is a weapon of war. It sounds like we got something straightened out recently about who drew those drawings that got stolen from me in 2007. They're mine. I probably used a ballpoint pen to do some of them. It let's you be more accurate, in a scratchy kind of way, but it's not as good for animations as the pilot fineliner I'm using now. About that wonder weapon, I should explain some of it. That booth at the bottom is for the operator. It is depicted locked in the safety position. If it were deployed, it's telescopic base would lift it up to increase its range. It would then be aimed downward to its target. And did I paint it weird? Oh, what colour are you supposed to paint a Babylonian lazar slingshot? Did I do it wrong? Should I have used more bronze? It's worth noting that the people of this ancient civilization developed a lazar gun before they had cars. Maybe their scientists withheld motors for environmental concerns. This latest drawing is more or less the same quality as the last one I posted for the same purpose in 2007. It should be clear that my drawings belong nowhere more than in my poems.
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Three Trends I May Have Started

I was assaulted by another Tom Hanks movie billboard on the side of a bus. You advertising people who love to torture me with your fraud supporting commercials will pay for your insolence against a commercial talent. Now, another fucking asshole who owes me money wants to fuck me with his fucking stardom and this must be the tenth time I've had report it in public. So Tom Hanks is the greasy fucker who tried to make people think he wrote my poem, the Veteran, which I wrote for my recently deceased father. He cashed in the trend I started among young people towards World War II memorabilia with his Saving Private Ryan. I created the market for that movie by my enthusiastic posts about my veteran dad. And CBC also aired a production at the time called Children of Men. And they wanted me to feel as small as possible while they were cashing in my World War Two trend. In 2008 I reposted my poem the Veteran amid a chorus of online hate and played the Star Spangled Banner on my guitar with reflections from Private Ryan visible in my guitar. I could have used any colour war movie, but Private Ryan was the most available. I left Tom Hanks's face out of it, but some jerk at YouTube stuck his face back in, probably to make it look like I was ripping off his image. Fuck, it upsets me to recall all this. Anyway, that video was lost when I gave my old computer to Roxanna's mother, so I can't repost the video if you liked it. And what was another trend I started with my blogs back between 1999 and 2007? How about secret religious codes? Didn't I have a fascination with secret information that was held by the church? I may have posted a blog about something like that. Who cashed in that trend? What other trends might I have started between 1999 and 2007? Wasn't I keen on ancient anomalies like the pyramids? Wasn't I into Chariots of the Gods? Who all cashed in that trend? It doesn't pay to start trends from your blogger account, does it? You can see from their new cover page that they don't expect you to publish anything outstanding here. If you do, I guess they think it looks better on TV with someone else stealing it than with your name and face on your own work.
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Recreative Pastime

I think my poems are fine without being on TV. I didn't write them to be acted out. If a production were made of them, the players would not be required to read lines because the whole thing is narrated. I think this leaves the door open for models to fill a lot of the roles. So I've done twenty-one drawings in a row that were all previously shared from my last account. And it's taken me several weeks. You can have a lot of fun with my drawings. Have you made a shoe box house for your space couple yet? You can use a toilet paper tube for the chimney and cover it all with tin foil and pretend it's on the moon. It's way more fun than watching them on DVD. I'm staying active with my drawings, so if you want to see new posts from me, just check my illustration footnotes in my Storyblog.
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