Culture Shock

I couldn't make it to the end of my set yesterday because I got too drunk. Alcohol slows down my upstrokes when I'm strumming my power chords. But at least I tried. I got to the end the day before. Am I in trouble for publicly admitting that I got drunk? This is where we can open up a discussion of Anglo-American culture. Anglo culture is uptight. This is just the best word to describe it, except perhaps 'hypocritical'. It restricts drinking hours and condemns sex. English people still drink and go to strip joints, but they have to go to Quebec if they want the party to continue through the night. Maybe it has something to do with the money, but Anglo-American people frown more on fun. In Quebec it's okay to have sex on the bus as long as you cover yourselves with a blanket. People understand. And if you need booze, you don't have to travel farther than the convenience store. You can walk around with a bottle in your hand and a girl wrapped around your waist and wave hi to all the neighbors and no one gives it a second thought. And girls are encouraged by the government to start mating early. Their government wants to try to catch up with the English population over the next four generations. As for me, I don't know what I'm doing here in Vancouver. They have a nude beach here and it's expanding into my neighborhood. They better let me keep my clothes on - if only for the children - or I'm going to have to find somewhere else to live.
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© 2016. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.