Happy Reformation

Now's a good time to give my thumb a workout with the bar chords because I'm drinking a lot of vodka. That will kill the pain until my hand gets stronger from practicing guitar. It's those bar chords. They have to be sustained by pressing down longer. But playing leads is physically easier because you don't need to press down on the strings much when you're dancing your fingers up and down the neck. Don't worry, I won't get drunk from the vodka. My Polish ancestors made sure of that. I can drink vodka by the gallon and nothing happens. I can only get drunk from Polish vodka. They don't have it in the liquor store here. You have to go all the way to Toronto for it. How do you like those Bloody Caesar's? Every time you drink one of those you get a warm buzz from the thought of Julius Caesar writhing on the floor from fifty-two stab wounds, drowning in a pool of his own blood. Is there a midnight mass tonight? I want to go to a midnight mass. I haven't been to one of those in a long time. They make an excellent Christmas event because some drunk is always guaranteed to get up in front of the congregation just before the service starts and declare himself to be the Lord Jesus Christ and have to be dragged from the pulpit by undercover police officers. I've been getting back in touch with my faith by reading the BC Catholic. Here's a newspaper I finally can read. Looks like Bill C-36, the law against prostitution is getting some attention. I think they should give a break to hookers who wash our feet with their tears and dry them with their hair though. Ah, I see that the successor of Saint Peter, the Pope, is the Sovereign Pontiff, the visible head, the holder of supreme and absolute jurisdiction, assisted in administration by the Secretariat of State, the College of Cardinals, and the 50,000 strong Swiss Guard. The Jesuits form the security and intelligence arm of the Holy See. Of course, the church has had a couple of thousand years to get organized by capable men who stay free of addictions - except perhaps for wine. There's a new science-faith book out, Particles of Faith. Delightful. Oh, is there a popular Gregorian chant out? I don't care much for modern Gregorian chant. Not enough castratos. You need those castratos to blast out those high notes with authority. Yes, and after 500 years of bloody war, the Catholics and the Lutherans are getting together to admit their faults to each other. The Catholics can start by saying, okay, we shouldn't have locked you in your church and set it on fire. That was wrong. But we needed that dome. Domes cost money. You think it's just Rome's dome, it's everyone's dome... Midnight mass is where a Pole like my grandfather might meet an Irish woman like my grandmother and make it possible for them to unite on a bold experiment. The Catholic Church told them to have as many children like me as they possibly could, even if they already had six. And now I just mostly have my music to show for my presence here on earth. So I better have another drink and practice some more.
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© 2016. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.